When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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