hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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