My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...