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Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
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