I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.