Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives

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  (513): Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives http://tfl.nu/d9wq
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop

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  (330): If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop http://tfl.nu/zan9
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...

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  (306): I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face... http://tfl.nu/9kl8
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.

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  (662): They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say. http://tfl.nu/fs2e
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue

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  (812): Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue http://tfl.nu/ir9h
  Replies (93) Good night (4566) Bad night (1016) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love

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  (845): He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love http://tfl.nu/i52c
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job

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  (301): Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job http://tfl.nu/jdmg
  Replies (21) Good night (3496) Bad night (2040) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.

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  (978): Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen. http://tfl.nu/nx95
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.

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  (724): An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god. http://tfl.nu/gzqy
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated

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  (860): Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated http://tfl.nu/83mz
  Replies (7) Good night (2009) Bad night (1647) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter

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  (949): Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter http://tfl.nu/gh1h
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch

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  (203): we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch http://tfl.nu/wvpl
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Not my cup of tea

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  (250): I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years. (250): Not my cup of tea http://tfl.nu/83fl
  Replies (5) Good night (1376) Bad night (701)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.

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  (907): This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good. http://tfl.nu/n0mb
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.

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  (703): BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES. http://tfl.nu/8c1x
  Replies (3) Good night (295) Bad night (1024) Order T-Shirt

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