every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.