fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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