Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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