I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize