He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
even my farts smell like vagina
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
