Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
