They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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