i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
