I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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