I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
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At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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