You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
