Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We named our party play list daddy issues
nutella sex= disaster
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
