You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
