i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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