i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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