party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Randomize