I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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