Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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