so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize