fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
