at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
