Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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