You really coming over, don't trick.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
