You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
