I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
