he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
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just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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