Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
