This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
