I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
