I wish i was in the wii world.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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