Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
