i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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