His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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