well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
nutella sex= disaster
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
