so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
