dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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