Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize