I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
