3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
