she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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