Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
