break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
