I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
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I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
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I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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