end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
