i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
