I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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