YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
