The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
two words: eviction party
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
