don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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