Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
