Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize