White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
