Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
