a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
where does the pee come out of this thing
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just found puke in my bra..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
