I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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