i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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