I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
